Monday, September 16, 2013

Relocating my happiness@

OMG!... I'm about to move my son and I, 800 miles away! What the hell am I thinking?

I wanted this. I applied for the job, flew there for the interview, I did mock interviews, presentations, I campaigned for the job and I won!
Most importantly, I had faith and I prayed! I asked God to let his will be done and now I'm moving.

I'm feeling overwhelmed and burdened, but not joy and happiness, why not?

This is my chance to reinvent myself, be and live the life I'm destined to live. Only positive things will happen, are happening. My finances increased and will only get better, this is my chance to get out of my rut! I've been depressed for 14 years, I want to be happy, damnit, I deserve it!

Monday, March 4, 2013

New Reality... New Dreams?

Right now I just realized that I have to let go of the old dreams I once had. Because my old dreams were based on what my reality was 15 years ago.

What is my reality now?
I'm a mother of a son, single, overweight, working towards her MBA, surviving after bankruptcy... I'm rebuilding my life is my reality.

What new dreams will come as I face my current reality?

Monday, February 11, 2013

No Weapon Against Me Shall Prosper...

No weapon formed against you shall prosper, And every tongue which rises against you in judgment You shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, And their righteousness is from Me,” Says the LordIsaiah 54:17

Whenever you try to do right, something or someone will come at you wrong. Salt will be thrown on your game. But to me that means I'm doing something right. Haters only come out when success is upon you. So although I was upset, I have to laugh and keep, keeping on.

So much is upon me, changing from the inside out. I've gathered my 5 stones (5 Bible verses) to protect me as a fight my way out of this stone garden (a place of negativity).

My five stones:

"But He knows the way that I take; When He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold." Job 23:10

"A man's heart plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps."... Proverbs 16:9

"With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible"... Matthew 19:26

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding"... Proverbs 3:5

"No weapon formed against you shall prosper,".. Isaiah 54:17

My 5 stones shall prepare me to fight my Goliath just as David did. My stones shall turn flowers in bloom in my garden.



Thursday, May 31, 2012

Working on loving myself...

A butterfly sat on my shoulder...  That symbolizes a new beginning after a great struggle... Is that why I feel so damn good!

In the past few months I've lost and gained 20+ pounds, let go of a future with a man I really like, embraced my natural hair, filed bankruptcy, resigned from an organization, realized who my real friends are, and decided to spend the summer loving myself.

My "Summer of Me" starts with:
- Creating a firm budget
- Starting with the Daniel Diet to get on the right path with God and focus on me
-Exercising on a consistent regular basis
-Blogging on a regular basis
-Spending quality time with my son
-Accepting every inch of this life His has blessed me with

I know that I am one of God's butterfly!

Monday, April 23, 2012

When God Closes a Door...

He opens a sunroof or creates a skylight in your mind.

I feel so renewed right now. I feel so full of life. My blues have sailed away and I feel so free to be me. I see nothing but good and great days ahead. I'm thanking the Lord in advance, what a difference a weekend makes... This could very well be a dark time in my life, but I know I'm in the middle of a storm and good is winning.

A friend called today to tell me "You are beautiful, a hard working good mother, a strong woman and I love you."  Just as I opened my mouth to say I love you back she said "and don't say it back to me. That's not why I called, I wanted to give it and for you to hear it without feeling the need to give it back." I was like wow... Truly giving and accepting without expecting anything back. She said she felt love pouring out of her and wanted to share it and I was more than happy to receive it. That was one of the greatest gifts I received today.

What was yours?

Monday, April 2, 2012

Success is being Self-Full...

So many times I've done what was expected of me... What was wanted of me... Not what I wanted. When I did what I wanted it was done out of rebellion, to prove no one could put me in a box or dictate what I do... And this has gotten me into a lonely, depressed, confused state of mind.

I was watching Oprah's Lifeclass with Iyanla and when she said " how you treat yourself is a reflection of how you treat God" it struck a cord with me. In my life I can look back at the moments when I treated myself right, when the plan worked, when my mind was clear, when I had faith and I see God's footprint in my timeline.

But what I got from this is that to have Success, I have to be Self-Full. Cause to help others, to do my life's purpose, I have to fully be me, stand in my truth and have my cup full... What runneth over my cup is what I'm giving... What's in my cup is mine! It's another way of saying I need to put my oxygen mask on first...

So I say all of this to acknowledge I've allowed myself to be distracted... But no more... I have my first 5k to run on May 5... An insurance exam to retake, a child to get focused... Some weight to lose, bills to pay, money to save, life to live, love for myself to gain and a plan to work... Let's get it!